Only once or twice a season do we get to see our team united in the face of an enemy. Usually the cornered foe is hardly a force to be reckoned with: a slutty teacher, a skanky duchess, or a closeted bully. But in the case of Juliet, our gang is dealing with something they've never fought before: a character who has lasted more than four episodes. Even if her inept efforts to take down Serena have failed over and over, her very staying power is remarkable. She just keeps showing up for class. In the end, we see her clattering away from Lincoln Center, banished from their sight and exiled from Columbia. But will that be enough? Has the team finally encountered something they truly don't know how to fight: poverty?
Eh — they've been stomping on Vanessa for four seasons now. They can handle Juliet. On to the reality index!
Realer Than Sex in a Telephone Booth at the Ballet:
• Matt Lauer interviewed Colin about “who was cuter?” That sounds about right. At least as far as Vanessa’s Daddy Complex goes. Plus 2.
• Let’s see if we can decipher Dan’s stated reasoning for reading Colin’s book: “Serena has boobs.” Yeah, okay, we get it. Plus 2.
• Vanessa tries to remind Dan how crazy Juliet is, and he says, “Oh, let’s just try to put this behind us.” Plus 4, because if you are a brain-dead hipster hunk, why wouldn’t you want to focus on only the pretty girls you haven’t yet slept with?
• Juliet: “I saw the way you were looking at Serena van der Woodsen at Blair Waldorf’s party the other night.” The way she refers to each character on this show by their Christian name at least deserves a Plus 1.
• Dan follows Colin’s written advice before he follows Rufus’s spoken advice. Plus 2.
• Chuck: “The New York Marathon was this weekend. Those women run 26.2 miles in under three hours, so their warm-up is the key.” Plus 4, even though that statement makes no sense at all.
• Chuck: “Closure: the unattainable goal. In my personal experience the closest I’ve come to getting it is through massive amounts of hate sex. But that’s just me.” Presumably, it’s not just Chuck, it’s Chuck and Katia, and Candi, and Krystal … Plus 10.
• Nate: “I’ll stick to giving Juliet her shampoo and copy of The Help back.” Plus 2. Subtle.
• Blair: “What if someone sees?”
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